


Sight for Sore Eyes

by thelazyhero_ttums



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1990’s au, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Based on a song, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Kissing, M/M, Oneshot, Short, Slight Internalized Homophobia, Varsity Jacket, cursing, diary entries, have fun?, sweatshirt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26785474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelazyhero_ttums/pseuds/thelazyhero_ttums
Summary: Dec 3rd, 1990.Hanging out with him tonight. I’m so surprised he asked me to hang out with him. I mean, I know we’re close and all, but I thought he was just using me for homework or test answers. Does he actually think of me as a friend?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Sight for Sore Eyes

Dec 3rd, 1990.

Hanging out with  _ him _ tonight. I’m so surprised he asked me to hang out with him. I mean, I know we’re close and all, but I thought he was just using me for homework or test answers. Does he actually think of me as a friend?

Dec 4th, 1990.

Fuck. I’m so screwed. I’m in over my head, why did I agree to hang out with him, I’m dead, my life is over. We were on a walk and I complained about the coldness, and he gave me his varsity jacket. HE. GAVE. ME. HIS. VARSITY. JACKET. And to top it all off, he said I looked better in it than him. Dean Winchester has my heart. If he knew how much I liked him I’d be done for. Fuck.

Dec 5th, 1990.

Break started today, I guess I’ll update you in the new year, unless something eventful happens. I was talking with  _ him  _ in the hallway today, giving back his jacket, and I noticed the strangest thing. Lisa walked by, and I swear his eyes tracked her until they couldn’t anymore. Weirdest thing of all: it hurt. Watching his green eyes follow her felt like a personal attack, like a stab right into my chest.

Dec 10th, 1990.

_ He _ called me today, I wasn’t expecting but I’m sure glad it was me that answered the phone, not Gabe or anyone else. Nothing too eventful happened, he mainly talked about  _ her _ the entire time. I guess he heard the boredom, and hurt, in my voice because he asked if I was ok. Of course I said yes. I’m not sure which is worse, being hurt by him, or knowing he actually cares about me.

January 2nd, 1991.

Break is over. Dean asked me to hangout again, of course I couldn’t refuse. Spending time with him is like a true adrenaline rush, or better yet a sugar rush, so fast, happy, and lovely while he’s there, slow, lonely, and sad the moment we part. Wish me luck?

January 3rd, 1991

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  _ He  _ is the worst. I hate him. Why would he ever do that? Liking him, being this way, was a mistake. I don’t know if I could ever forgive him. I don’t know what to say. I still can’t believe it myself. He kissed me. I ran away.

January 4th, 1991

I did look at  _ him _ at all today. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He tried to talk to me, I think, and I just walked away as fast as possible. I couldn’t help myself, I didn’t know what else to do. I want to do the right thing, say the right thing to him, but I don’t know what the right thing is to do. Should I shake him? Should I tell him I liked it too? I just want things back to the way they were.

January 7th 1991

I had the weekend to think over the situation. My solution: just talk to him, and ask him how he feels. The problem: Before I could even get close to him I saw he was with Lisa, and she was wearing  **_his_ ** varsity jacket. They were laughing and smiling the entire time they were talking. They looked so good together, he looked so happy with her. I couldn’t ruin that.

January 8th, 1991.

_ They’re _ still together. I hoped that maybe I just caught what were two friends being friends. Hoping didn’t work, they’re definitely a couple. I saw them walk hand-in-hand down the hallway, then they got to  _ his _ locker and he draped his arm around  _ her _ shoulder. In those moments, surrounded by everyone else in the halls I have never felt so alone, so cold.

January 9th, 1991.

I don’t have it in me. Liza is so kind, and sweet, I don’t have it in me to hate her. When I first saw them I wished she would disappear, but it’s so hard to hate her. Why can’t she just be mean so it’s easier and acceptable for me to hate her? Why does she have to be so nice?

January 10th, 1991.

**_They kissed._ ** In the hallway, in public. I wonder if it was just as magical for her. I’d do anything to be her in that moment. I would do anything to be her in any moment, anything to be wearing his jacket again, to be kissed. To be loved by him.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn’t realize, or hadn’t heard the song yet. This is heavily inspired by, and basically copied, from Heather by Conan Gray. It’s a good song, totally recommend you listen to it.


End file.
